


Blood, sweat and tears

by WritingforTheAvengers



Category: Avengers, Captain America, Marvel, Steve Rogers - Fandom
Genre: AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-01 18:37:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14526708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingforTheAvengers/pseuds/WritingforTheAvengers
Summary: Amelia Benoist is a United Nations doctor. She's famous and recognized because she has worked overseas in dangerous places like war zones and catastrophes. She is stubborn, potty mouthed and hot headed, but she gets the work done and done well. When sent to Sudan to help to ensure peace and human rights, Amelia, "Mia", meets Captain Steve Rogers from the US military. He’s very stubborn, bossy and he believes to be in charge of everything, well, not in the medical wing.





	1. Meeting

“Alright motherfuckers,” Dr. Amelia Benoist said as she inhaled sharply; the team behind her looked around themselves at the tent that so coldly welcomed them and they all chuckled lightly, “this is definitely not the hospital clinics we’re all used to, but we’ve been to places like this before, so let’s make this baby our home, now shall we?”

The team of doctors fixed their own workspaces and Dr. Benoist set some frames on her desk; she was the boss in the medical wing and therefore she was entitled to have one. Dr. Banner, one of her closest friends on that team, came by and faked a knocking sound. Amelia turned her head and smiled widely.

“We should do a housewarming party, right?” Bruce leaned on the metallic table, folding his arms over his chest and shaking his head lightly, making his curly hair move along.

“Yeah, we should totally get shitfaced,” Amelia gave her best friend a cheeky smile, “we don’t start until a week more, right? But I think our booze was caught by the military guys,” she twisted her lips in a thoughtful manner. “We need a pair of sneaky hands to take it back, but—”

Her daydreaming was soon interrupted by a blonde, tall, well-trained man in green uniform walking with an entourage of people as tall and trained as he was. Their steps were so heavy that the tent seemed to shake. The squadron stopped and Blondie, as Amelia soon baptized him, gave one step forward.

“Stand easy,” Blondie called in a harsh voice, and the rest obeyed in sync. “My name is Captain Steve Rogers,” Amelia made a mental note to join the name Steve to the image of Blondie, “and it’s my pleasure to welcome you to Sudan. We have some rules beforehand: no alcohol, no drugs, no parties, and no staying out after the curfew; we have strict orders to arrest anybody, and we will not care if you are a doctor, the Dalai Lama or the President of the United States,” he was very categorical with his threat, or warning, “we are also not allowed to have politic propaganda anywhere visible, we are here to help, not make politics; let the suits do that. We are here to keep civilians safe and healthy. Are we clear?”

“Uhhh… with all due respect, Captain Rogers,” Dr. Benoist stepped forward, raising her hand in a questioning manner; she was quite shorter than he was, and her olive skin seemed almost too dark compared to Steve’s pale complexion, “my name is Dr. Amelia Benoist and I’m the boss of these people,” she extended her arms as if she presented the whole team of doctors, “this is my team, Drs. Hyoyeon Kim, Bella Hadid and Jared Padalecki, they are our pediatricians,” the mentioned doctors waved their hands timidly, “the surgeons, Drs. Bruce Banner, O’Shea Jackson and Daniel Riveros. Dr. Janelle Monae and I are the generals, we check everything, but just so you know I give the orders here. We want to keep a good relationship, but if anyone of us has a reason to celebrate, we will not stop them from doing it. Remember that we are not part of the US military, and some members of our team are not even American citizens,” she rose her eyebrows quickly. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Captain, but I’m afraid we’re all tired from the flight and we just want to get some rest after we finish our workplaces.”

“I don’t think you understand your place in here, Dr. Benoist,” Steve scoffed, “you are _only_ a doctor—” he said with disdain and a shit-eating grin that Amelia was actively hating at the moment; she made another mental note to be rough with him when his sorry, pale ass got beaten.

“Only a doctor?” She laughed hysterically. “Well, I don’t know who’s going to take care of you or your guys when you get shot,” she shrugged, “I’m guessing… a doctor will? Right guys?” She looked behind her and the team was tongue tied, and too afraid to answer. “Anyway,” she turned again to Captain Rogers, “as I said before, it’s very nice to meet you and your crew, but the team needs a rest,” she turned around, giving the military squadron her back and urging her team to fix their things. “Come on motherfuckers, let’s get going,” she clapped her hands and the team started to move.

“I haven’t finished talking, and we won’t accept that language here.”

“Okay Blondie, listen to me,” Amelia said in exhaustion, “I don’t give a shit about you or your stupid rules, let us do our job and we’ll let you do yours.”

“I don’t like your attitude,” Steve harshly grabbed Amelia’s arm and made her turn around to face him until they heads were only centimeters apart. “You’re just a conceited little girl who doesn’t know a thing about the outside world; this is not just a mere volunteering job, this is not your private clinic, you don’t have your fancy patients here. There’s blood, and lots of it; there’s suffering and you’ll understand what heartbreak is.”

“Well, Blondie,” Amelia sneered, “I don’t like your attitude either, and if you think I’m conceited and ignorant about the world’s suffering, you should’ve seen my résumé beforehand, because you literally know shit about where I’ve been and what I’ve done with this team. Now get the fuck out of here,” Steve let go of Amelia and stepped back. He took his hand to his forehead and the squadron followed. They all left without further words, only accompanied by the stomping that their heavy boots made. The tension in the air was palpable and Dr. Benoist was shaking from that sudden contact.

“You alright, Mia?” Dr. Banner asked in a soft voice as he came closer to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

Unsure of her voice, Amelia nodded quickly. She took a deep breath and finally spoke. “We’re going to place the pediatric area in the back, did you bring the decoration, Hadid?”

“Yes, sir!” Dr. Bella Hadid imitated Captain Rogers and elicited a soft and nervous laugh from all the doctors. “Dr. Kim, Dr. Padalecki and I are working on that, sir!”

“Stand easy, Dr. Hadid,” Amelia faked a deep, military voice, and the team of doctors came back to their work with relieved smiles on their faces. “Listen up, everyone, let’s keep out of Rogers’s radar because I already fucked it up,” she chuckled, losing the character, “let’s use this week to get all familiarized with who we’re working with and don’t forget who we are working for; it’s not the US government. We’re working for the people who need us, alright?”

“Yes, sir!” The doctors all pressed their hands to their foreheads and they all laughed as they finished setting up their work stations.


	2. Incoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During their first incoming, Captain Rogers discovers that Dr. Benoist has two sides. When she's with the patients, she becomes sweet, nothing like when she speaks to him.

Rumor had it that there was a riot in the outskirts of the capital city, near to the compound of the US military and the peacekeeping forces; best case scenario? A few broken bones, at most, nothing bad. Worst case scenario? Dead people. The army boys were out already, but the walkie-talkie went crazy with a shattered voice, probably Captain Rogers’s voice; no one could grasp what it said, but Amelia was quick to say.

“Alright, assholes, we’ve got our first incoming,” she said firmly. “Be ready, if there aren’t any kids coming, I want you three to help wherever you can. Civilians first, militia for later—well, you know the drill.”

Screams in both English and Arabic sounded clearer and clearer, until a group of men in beige, army uniforms came in through the plastic curtains of the medical wing; they held the wounded civilians to the empty beds, but luckily, there weren’t as many wounded as the whole team thought.  
Steve placed a dark haired man, of about 40 years on the bed. Steve didn’t look too good either, but he wanted to go out.

“Rogers, I need a sling from the drawer that’s right behind me,” she demanded in a loud yell that if it wasn’t because of the noise in the hospital, it might have been heard all around it. “English?” She asked the man on the bed; he nodded frantically. “My name is Dr. Amelia Benoist, I will take care of you, alright?” She spoke gently, placing a hand on his cheek. “Captain, he has a dislocated shoulder and I can’t do it alone. Come on, Rogers,” she groaned in exasperation, “get me the sling! What’s your name?”

“Ahmed,” he said weakly, wincing harshly.

“Okay, Ahmed, we’ll get you back together,” she examined him quickly, a lacerated leg was the most urgent thing by now. It was long, and somewhat deep. “Rogers, the sling?” She called him again, as she cleaned the wound in the meantime.

She turned her head to see Captain Rogers, but Steve was stupefied, paralyzed. He was surely accustomed to the wounded, and being yelled at, but not entirely accustomed to orders that weren’t from his superiors. Out of a sudden, somebody grabbed his collar and shook him awake.

“Rogers, listen to me,” Amelia pulled from his garments and made his head closer to hers, “I need you to get your shit together and do what I tell you,” she growled in a low voice. “You’re going to get me the sling and you’re going to help me. Are we clear?” Steve nodded, still overwhelmed by the action around him. 

He looked in the drawer for a sling and hung it on his arm; walking towards Amelia, he was now at her orders. “How do we fix the arm?”

“I hold him steady, you pull the arm. Slowly, please.” Steve nodded, and almost in sync, the two looked at the open curtains to witness a pair civilians being introduced, and those who were well enough to walk were being escorted out. “Okay, one, two, three, down,” Captain Rogers obliged and pulled slowly, eliciting a low grunt from Ahmed, who shut his eyes tightly and held on to the hard mattress. Amelia heard a click, and she knew it was ready. “It’s done, are you feeling better Ahmed?” The wounded man nodded in relief, but there was still the thing with the leg. “Okay, let’s work on that leg.”

Dr. Benoist looked up quickly and saw the calmness of the improvised hospital; the doctors were talking to the patients and there they reconstructed the earlier events. She dipped a piece of cotton on some peroxide to clean Ahmed’s wound and start the closing process. He was saying something, and perhaps he even was talking to her, but stitching was one of her favorite things, so she was quite focused while placing a numbing cream on the area. She was ready to get hands-on.

“Sorry, did you say something?”

“I was asking if you’d been here for long,” Ahmed chuckled. “Sorry if I talk too much,” his English, though rough, was still very understandable and in his voice she could notice the struggle to keep his cool, “I’m not exactly comfortable with blood and, lately, I’ve seen way too much,” the two talked for almost half an hour, meanwhile she finished the suturing. 

“How are we doing, guys?” Dr. Jackson’s voice sounded loud and clear throughout the calmed wing; he was free and looking for something to do.

“O’Shea,” Amelia called, “can you look after Ahmed? I’m gonna go out.”  
Amelia threw her gloves to the trash can, and found relief when she there were no more wounded incoming, just a pack of tired soldiers joking and resting. The day had been hard for everyone, and the weather only made it more terrible; the sun was shining bright up in the sky, and the heavy military equipment was making things probably even worse.   
Mia looked closely at the men; they were trying to make the most of a tiring day, trying to laugh the pain away. Some of them grabbed each other’s faces, comparing wounds and scratches with each other as if they were recognitions for their service; she walked towards them and spoke loudly.

“Soldiers,” she said and everyone turned their heads to her in awe. The only time they had heard her, she was having an argument with Captain Rogers. “I want to thank you for bringing the people here with promptness; there weren’t any severe injuries, and they shall be taken to the city, to a shelter, afterwards,” she explained. “I want to thank you for what you did back there, from what I heard inside, you really saved the day,” she smiled softly. “Now, let’s talk real business; is there anyone of you who needs medical assistance?” The soldiers looked at each other with perplexed faces.

“I think Captain Rogers did, he’s… there,” one of the soilders signaled a distant spot that was still in the limits of the compound.

She walked with firm steps towards him and found him lying flat on the ground. His eyes were shut, but with no signs of passing out or fainting; he was just tired, but also, there was something wrong with him and Amelia couldn’t rest well if she didn’t do something. She hated him with all of her might, but she made an oath to save people and even though he was an asshole, he was still a person that needed to be saved.

“Get up, Rogers,” Amelia said coldly. She looked at him and his right sleeve was evidently stained with blood. “Your soldiers told me you were hurt, so get your ass to the medical wing right now and willingly before I call your guys to drag you there.”

“I’m fine,” he took his hand to cover the sun from his eyes and groaned. “How are the others?”

“For the record, I did try to be nice,” she took her fingers to her mouth and whistled so loud, that it hurt Steve’s ears and waved her arms at the group of soldiers who looked at her. She signaled at them to come, and a small group of four men arrived promptly. “Get him to a bed at the hospital, now. Strap him if necessary, clear?” The men effortlessly lifted Steve from the dirt and headed towards the improvised hospital, even though when he protested like a pig at the laughterhouse. 

He stopped protesting once he got inside and realized that he was the only one there, apart from the doctors. He took his heavy jacket off and revealed an arm that had bits of shattered glass stuck on his flesh. 

Dr. Benoist put on a new pair of gloves and quietly began planning her revenge. She was not going to go easy on him just because he was injured. She tied up her hair again and picked up her tweezers to start extracting the pieces of glass that rested on his arm. Steve grunted and tightened his fists; Amelia smiled lightly, trying to enjoy as little as possible his pain. Once there were no more pieces of glass, she left them aside and dipped a ball of cotton on some hydrogen peroxide.

“This is gonna hurt,” she warned two seconds before pressing the wet fabric on his skin.

“Fuck!” He yelled.

“Captain, I will not tolerate that kind of language,” she reprimanded him with a serious voice. The other doctors looked in awe, and most of them covered their mouths to suppress a giggle that would surely become a laughter. “Stay still.”

“Can’t you do it a little gentler?” Steve groaned in a low, deep voice. He looked up at Dr. Benoist and their eyes met for an eternal second; he noticed how her eyes shone bright under the artificial lights and how her breath was almost silent. His heart started beating like a drum, and he was well damned sure that everyone in that freaking hospital could hear it. 

“Am I making you nervous, cap?” She tugged at her bottom lip almost seductively before pressing another piece of soaked cotton on the Captain’s skin and making him shriek in pain. She dried out the excess water and smiled widely. “I don’t get mad, Rogers; I get even,” a shit-eating grin took over her lips. “Dr. Riveros, do you mind stitching him up?” Amelia looked over her shoulder and saw Daniel coming closer with a concealed smile on his lips. “Thanks, you’re a babe,” she rolled off the gloves from her hands and threw them in the trash can. Dr. Riveros finished the work way gentler than Amelia.


	3. Omar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team of doctors was illegally celebrating their first month in Sudan when they heard a commotion outside the medical wing. The reason: two strangers in the middle of the night abruptingly arriving at the compound. Captain Rogers is willing to do anything to keep everyone safe.

The doctors had managed to sneak up some of their alcohol to their quarters, it had been a work worthy of all spy movies, and even James Bond (or the actors who played him) would’ve come only to congratulate them on their well-done job. But as they celebrated their first month there, the alarms outside went crazy and a strong light glared everywhere; they all rushed out, and saw a group of soldiers, with Captain Rogers as their leader, pointing their guns to a woman and a little boy. She was screaming, crying and shaking, and with good reason; the soldiers were scarier with their guns, and the boy only hid his face in his companion’s rags.

Dr. Hadid rushed to get closer to the pair, kneeling in between them and the soldiers. She asked them in a low voice about what had happened, but she couldn’t get any answer. Dr. Jackson followed in suit, but instead of kneeling, he stood stoically right before Bella and facing Captain Rogers. O’Shea was not as tall as Steve, but he was as built up as the army man.

“Walk away from both of them immediately, Dr. Hadid,” Steve called in a severe voice, but none of them flinched or backed away, “you too, Dr. Jackson.”

“Leave Dr. Hadid alone, Captain,” O’Shea threatened; he was indeed scary because of his always unfriendly face and gangster attitude, but not so deep inside, he was a sweetheart. “This woman is hurt, and perhaps the child is too—”

“And perhaps this is all a goddamned trap. Trust me Dr. Jackson, I’ve seen them enough times to know,” Steve spat the words with hatred. “Now walk away, we’ll take care of it.”

“Well, we haven’t,” the doctor rose his eyebrows quickly, “and we will take the risks anyway, Captain Rogers, but thanks for the warning,” O’Shea replied calmly. “Monae, Banner, go get the beds ready,” Amelia walked to him and squeezed his shoulder gently and smiled at him. “If you’ll excuse us,” he turned around with Amelia by his side and the three of them walked back to the medical wing. 

A strong hand grabbed Amelia by the arm and made her turn around. Steve looked straight at her with a concerned expression. She looked up at him and her heartbeat slowly started to pick up the pace; he wasn’t making her nervous, but the proximity of their bodies and all that anger contained could really build up the tension between them. She licked her suddenly dry lips and awaited for a word, a reprimand or anything.

“Dr. Benoist, I’m serious, she could be a trap and we could all end up dead.”

“Captain, one of them was bleeding,” she indicated the dark stain on the soil, “maybe it was both of ‘em. The team will not take any chance,” she was firm in her idea, but still realized the possible danger it could bring. She knew there were many human beings used as bombs, and she truly prayed that these two people weren’t one of them. “You can’t let them die, and neither can we.”

“Do you even understand the dangers—?”

“Steve,” it was perhaps the first time in that whole month that Amelia called him like that, and that took him by surprise, making him loosen the grip on her arm, “what if they are not a bomb? Are we really going to let the die? I understand that she might blow up and we’ll all end up dead, but did you see the state she was in? That doesn’t look like a bomb to me; that looks like a terrified woman with a child by her side,” she gulped, feeling hopeless at the captain’s stubbornness. “Look, if it makes you happy, you can come and stay with us while we check them, but you gotta keep it quiet; we’ll let you know if we need you.”

“I just hope you don’t,” he replied, looking away and indicating the way back to the hospital.

“Yeah, Cap,” she sighed heavily, “so do I.”

Steve held one of the plastic curtains to let her in and saw her team completely hands on with the two strangers. Dr. Kim looked at her and said something unintelligible to the team and walked towards Dr. Benoist and Captain Rogers; she rolled off the gloves from her pale, tiny hands and fixed her hair. She seemed worried, and neither Amelia nor Steve could grasp why.

“She’s got a broken arm, bruises and perhaps a bruised or broken rib or _ribs,_ ” Hyoyeon emphasized the plural possibility in a worried voice, “and a laceration on her left leg; it’s quite long, and it’s gotten dirty,” Dr. Kim was the kind of doctor who would see more than the rest, and the state of the woman seemed to reveal an unspoken truth that she didn’t want to face or admit. “The little guy had only a few scratches, bruises and that’s all,” Hyoyeon said vaguely and in a soft voice, as if she didn’t want to be listened by the patients. “Their names are Aaminah and Omar Ashuur, mother and son.”

“What happened to them?” Steve asked.

“Aaminah will only tell when Omar is asleep, so we’ve given him some sedatives… I don’t know what to expect,” she lied. “Captain, is there a place where people are being captive, or kept as hostages?” She shook her head as she made the dreaded question. “Women, children, people in general?”

“There could be one, or more, that are kind of near,” he replied. “We have some intel on that, but we can’t be sure ‘cause the source isn’t exactly reliable, why?”

“She’s bruised in places that are a characteristic of domestic violence,” she explained. “It’s usually the torso because no one will ever see it unless you’re naked all day long, and it makes it hard for her to breathe so maybe they didn’t hit her with fists but with a blunt object instead.”

“Are you discarding a husband?” Amelia asked.

“Yes,” the doctors looked at each other, “Omar mentioned something about not meeting his dad, in his words, not just yet, so I’m guessing the father died, but I don’t know more than that because she will only tell it once the kid is asleep. She’s not a bomb, Captain Rogers, she was escaping with the child.”

“I will expect a full report on this tomorrow, Dr. Benoist,” Steve looked at Amelia and nodded quickly. “Great job, Dr. Kim, we will be looking into the information you’ve given me.”

“It’s not information,” Hyoyeon shrugged, “if anything, it’s just a hunch.”

“You guys have trusted your gut instinct twice in only one hour, it can’t be a coincidence,” Steve casually shrugged one shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow, doctors, try to get some rest,” he left without any further words. 

The two doctors looked at each other with puzzled expressions and walked back to Omar’s bed, to check if he was fast asleep, and they turned to Aaminah’s bed to make the proper introductions. Amelia looked at the child that was so peacefully dozed off and wondered how long had it been since he last did it; a soft smile spread on his thin lips and on hers too. At least one of them could find peace in such a horrid place.

“Aaminah, is there something we need to know about any of you?” Amelia asked.

“Omar has cancer,” she said in defeat. “I got him tested the other day, before we were taken away so I couldn’t tell him. There’s not much you can do for him, his diagnosis is not very optimistic, the doctor told me he wouldn’t last a month, he’s on borrowed time by now.”

“We’ll let you get some rest,” Amelia sighed, “but I’m gonna need you to tell more about the place you were, and you’ll tell it to Captain Rogers, alright?” The woman nodded silently. “Goodnight, we will check you both up in the morning,” the doctor smiled weakly and got some sedatives on her IV bag to allow her a night of deep sleep.


	4. Physical therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Rogers doesn't feel well, and when he goes to the medical wing he sees the one person he doesn't want to see. Dr. Benoist doesn't want to fight, she's let down her guard out of exhaustion. Unknown sides come to light.

Captain Rogers was not feeling well, after the first time he got to the medical wing, his shoulder hurt every once in a while and it was starting to get uncomfortable. He wasn’t fond of painkillers, and he didn’t know much about real medicine so he decided to pay a visit to the compound doctors and try not to bump into Dr. Benoist.

But life was funny, and the only person around in the medical wing was her. Omar and his mom were hanging around the compound, getting to know the squadron and just telling what they knew to get the intel as complete as possible for later missions.

“Oh—” Steve stopped in his steps and awkwardly tried to turn back—“I’ll come back later.”

“You’re already here,” Amelia shrugged. “Is everything alright? Anything I can do for ya’?”

“My shoulder’s been bugging me,” he pressed his hand against it and rubbed it. “But I’ll come back later, I see your bu—”

“I’m literally the only one here and I was on Facebook,” she pointed at the computer next to her, showing that she was, indeed, checking Facebook. “Sit down, and take off your upper garments, please,” she said as she walked to a cabinet and took a pair of gloves.

“N—naked?”

“Just the upper part, Rogers,” he grudgingly complied, and as she looked at him, she noticed that his shoulder was swollen and looking terrible. “Okay, so how would you rate your pain in a scale from 1 to 10, being 1 a very slight pain, and 10 a pain that’s unbearable—and please, be honest with me.”

“I think an 8, maybe?” He shrugged with the healthy shoulder and left his garments aside. “It varies a lot.”

“And how long since you’ve felt the pain?”

“About a month, give it or take,” he said plainly. “I’ve put warmth to it—”

“Don’t do that again, like ever again,” Amelia looked at him from over her shoulder. “Ice packs will be your new best friend. That, and physical therapy,” she turned around and walked towards him; Steve looked like a puppy, with his blonde hair and his distressed face. Like a puppy golden retriever in those Tumblr videos and vines, and she had to suppress a giggle. “Does it hurt when I touch you here?” She pressed her hand to the area and he winced. “I guess it does,” she noted to herself, “your shoulder is swollen, by the way, I don’t know if you noticed.”

“Yeah, kinda,” he breathed. “Will it be normal again?”

“Yes, but only if you take care of it, and you have to do exactly as I say,” she warned in a kind voice, kinder than she had expected. “First of all, we need to get that arm immobile for as long as we can during the day. You can do physical therapy with Janelle and we can work it out and you’ll be fine and dandy,” she smiled gently and patted his good shoulder.

“Thank you,” he looked into her eyes and felt suddenly lost for one second. The feeling elicited a gentle smile from him, which she replied with the same tenderness. “How’s Omar?”

“He’s surviving, just like we all are in a way, I guess,” she rolled the latex gloves off her hands and tossed them into the garbage. She strolled a chair near the bed where Steve sat on. “I don’t think I thanked you for letting them stay here,” Amelia wondered. “You were right, we took a big risk with them,” she stayed in silence for a while and she suddenly remembered he was half naked. It was a good view but she couldn’t take advantage of him. “You can get dressed, by the way, do you need help?”

“But you were not wrong,” he pointed out with a matter-of-factly voice, in the meantime, Dr. Benoist stood up to help the injured soldier. “Uh, yeah, that’d be nice, thanks,” he lifted his arms with great effort and Amelia pulled his shirt down his torso, having a glimpse of how his skin felt like. Steve jerked in his place and finished with the piece of clothing on his own. “So, physical therapy with Dr. Monae?” He awkwardly said as he jumped form the bed.

“Yup,” she stood up as well, “I’ll let her know and you can coordinate something together,” she nervously said as she pushed some strands of loose hair to the back of her ear. “Come here if you need anything—oh!” She suddenly squealed. “Before you go, let me get your arm on a sling, because I really need you to keep it still.”

She watched him leave just a few minutes later and, for the very first time, contemplated his broad shoulders, tiny waist and great ass and had to tug at her bottom lip harshly. She was having nasty thoughts about Captain Steve Rogers and she couldn’t even feel guilty about it. He was still a douche bag to her eyes, and she couldn’t care less if he got injured, but she was sure that she wouldn’t want that pretty face or perfectly round ass getting hurt.

As Steve walked away from the medical wing, he thought about how Dr. Benoist had been kind to him for the very first time. How gentle her voice was when she was not bossing people around her; though he enjoyed her medical attitude, he still very much despised her potty mouth, her disdain for rules and the gentle way she looked at him, or the softness of her touch, or the way her hair looked tied up in a ponytail. Yeah, she was pretty, but she still had an awful attitude. He scolded himself, as if it made the thoughts go away, but all he was left with was a feeling of hopelessness.


	5. Broken rules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a grey day in the medical wing, and having had enough of everyone, Dr. Benoist decides to throw the rules down the toilet for once and finds an unlikely companion.

Dr. Amelia was breaking a few rules that night; she was out past bedtime and she had managed to get one of the beers that the soldiers had locked away. The night was unusually warm, and the beer was cold; the day had been long, tough and one to just simply forget.

She was sitting on a rock, not far away from the medical wing of the compound; it was all peace and quiet, that until she spotted a blonde wall of muscles from afar. She had forgotten she’d been crying for the last 10 minutes straight, and she hurriedly dried her tears with the back of her hand, but Captain Steve Rogers was faster, and he was there in just three steps of his long legs.

“Dr. Benoist—”

“You know what, Cap? I just broke all of your stupid rules in like 10 fucking minutes,” Amelia spoke with a cracking voice; she left the bottle on the rock, “so if you wanna arrest my ass and shoot me for treason, just go ahead,” she shook her head, “I really don’t give a shit right now,” she extended both her arms, with her wrists together.

“Had a tough day, Dr. Benoist?” He rose an inquiring eyebrow at her, figuring that being rough, or acting like a Captain wouldn’t make much sense in her state. “Does your mouth get even pottier on bad days?” He asked, taking no notice of her words, and chuckling lightly, he sat down next to her and took a long sip from her beer. “Mmh…” he hummed in pure delight and enjoyment, “I hadn’t had one of these in months.”

“Yes, I had a tough day,” she said in an unfriendly voice. “Why aren’t you arresting me?” She asking, changing her voice immediately to a curious one.

“Because what are rules for if not to break them? And besides, contrary to popular belief, I don’t have a stick up my ass,” he shrugged casually. “So, I’m guessing you might want some company, and perhaps someone to talk to, right?”

“Just shut the hell up for a second, I wanted peace,” she groaned. 

“I’m not an insensitive person either,” he said, not joking anymore. “I know what it is to be sad in a place like this… but I don’t know what could make a doctor cry…”

“You know, there’s a reason why I don’t work with kids…” she said in absentmindedness after a long silence, “and today showed me why. You were wrong,” she looked at him, “I do know what blood, suffering and heartbreak is; I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it, and it has kept me up more nights than it should have. And today, I lived it again, all of it.”

“You know, I did read your résumé after you told me that,” he replied in an apologizing manner. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you—”

“I deserved them anyway,” she chuckled gloomily. “I was being mean.”

“Yeah, but it gives me no right to act like that. I’ve seen you work, and it’s impressive… So, what happened today? The medical wing was unusually quiet,” he asked softly.

“We had our first death, and that’s always the worst one,” Steve looked at Amelia with tender eyes, paying complete attention to her words. “Omar had been there for a few weeks; he was a good kid, about 8 years old, painfully smart and he brought smiles to the whole wing, adults and children all the same; it was the little guy that came in one night, like a month ago,” she reminded him. “Well, little man’s got cancer, but…” she sighed heavily, shaking her head and her high ponytail wiggled along. “His mom was there, they only had each other now, and today he asked her to sing him to sleep,” her voice cracked again and her eyes were filled with bitter tears. “He knew it, my god, he knew he was going to die, you know what was the worst thing? We just stayed there and watched the whole thing because we couldn’t do anything for him. He had cancer. Do you know what it’s like to fail like that? I mean, that boy deserved to live more than all of us do, and he died!” Amelia broke down and hid her face behind her hands, her chest heaved and to Steve’s eyes, she had never looked so vulnerable and human; he placed a hand over her shoulder and gently squeezed it. “He asked his mom to sing him to sleep and she did, she sang in Arabic, and the whole wing went silent, and those of us who were actually awake… we were crying our hearts out. He gave the fight of his life, and he lost…” she shook her head and fell silent. 

Steve instinctively wrapped his large arms around Amelia, cradling her and humming softly to her ear. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” he said in a low, husky voice, and kissed the top of her head with tenderness. “But what happened is not your fault, neither your team’s; this happens every day, and sometimes we can’t do anything but watch. We can’t save them all, Dr. Benoist, because if we try, we may not be able to save anyone one day… We do what we can to save most of them. And it’s not your fault, Amelia, not at all.”

“I know,” she sniffed, “I mean—we all know that, death is just part of the job but… ugh,” she groaned, “why couldn’t we choose some other job?” She complained. “There are so many other choices, I could’ve been a goddamned accountant and I wouldn’t have to see anyone die.”

“Unless you’re Ben Affleck,” Steve replied, eliciting a soft giggle from the doctor. “If you’re that kind of accountant, you’ll see a lot of blood and death, and probably do a lot of it too.”

“I guess you’re right,” she conceded, “thank you, Captain Nerd, even though you drank most of my beer,” Mia looked at the empty bottle next to him. “Oh goddamn, I should’ve brought another one, if I knew you wouldn’t arrest me and drink it all instead.”

“Yeah, sorry… I just missed the taste. Can I ask you about your team? Where do they come from? How did you meet them?”

“Well… Dr. Banner and I know each other since we were kids, his parents were friends with my dad, uh… my mom died when I was very young, so it was always the two of us. Bruce’s dad was in the army with mine, so we kinda grew up together, but he’s older than me. We used to dream about going abroad and be war doctors,” she chuckled, “who would’ve thought we’d truly end up in here. He met Dr. Padalecki there, they’re about the same age; Jared’s the pediatrician, and I think it’s because he has kids of his own, but he hasn’t seen them in a long time.”

“Why?”

“His ex-wife won’t let him see them,” Amelia replied in a sad voice. “Then, when I got into med school I met Dr. Hadid. Bella is such a pure soul, and she’s so gorgeous and I think your squadron has been dreaming about her, oh, and she has a certain disdain for clothes, so perhaps they’ve seen her too; we all try to talk her into modeling, but she doesn’t really want to, and she’s great with kids, just like Jared and Dr. Kim.”

“Dr. Kim… she’s not from around, is she?”

“No, she’s Korean, and how we met is such a fun story,” Dr. Benoist looked at Steve and smiled widely, noticing for the very first time that his eyes were of a deep blue and if she truly looked at it, she noticed it had some spots of green; he was truly a sight for sore eyes, even if most of the time he was an asshole with a stick up his ass. “Turns out that Hyoyeon is a singer, or was—she was famous, but she couldn’t make use of her abilities and degree, so she decided to quit her music and career and pursue what she was most passionate about; the three of them are so great together, and great with kids, but Hyo’s like… she’s got some Patch Adams shit on her, she’ll just make everyone laugh out of nowhere, and when Omar closed his eyes she was so calmed, you know?” Amelia’s voice lowered. “She and his mom were holding each other but Hyo was… completely collected,” Amelia shook her head in bewilderment, feeling another wave of tears pooling in her tired eyes. “Oh, how I met her?” She changed the topic. “Well, I was in Korea, I was in a conference of volunteers around the world. I was given tickets to see an artist at a music show, like on set, and it turned out to be her; we were introduced and became friends, then she left the industry and joined us,” she took her bottle and shook it to see if there was any liquor left; unfortunately, there wasn’t. “Dr. Riveros… I met him in Haiti, he was from the Chilean team that goes there; Daniel’s a simple guy, and he likes people more than he gives out. He’s very reserved, but always down to party.”

“Are Dr. Jackson and Dr. Monae together? And how did you pick them up?”

“To be honest, I don’t know. O’Shea and Janelle do happen to flirt a lot,” she frowned, as if she had just acknowledged that fact, “but I don’t really care—I mean, as long as they keep it pro, I’m cool with it,” they looked at each other again and Steve’s lips felt suddenly dry. “I met O’Shea… I think at a party, med school too. I was there with Bella, he tried to hit on us but we became friends instead, he’s like a brother, kinda like Bruce, but younger, and Janelle… I think Jackson brought her, if not, it was Bella.”

“You’re very fond of them… the way you talk of them it’s like they are your family.”

“They are, in a way… I lost my dad a few years ago and I wasn’t there because I put the job first, but they paid for my ticket home and I could see him in his last hours… Then they flew where I was and just stayed with me for the funeral. I know they wouldn’t give their lives for me, but they would do anything to save it.”

His eyes darted from her eyes to her plump lips, and he noticed for the very first time that she was naturally gorgeous. The sweat and dirt that gathered in different spots of her face and neck made her reachable and ridiculously normal. Steve had seen her in action before; he could still remember the first day that she bossed him and everyone around, but still treated the patients with tenderness. Her truck driver mouth and the attitude to match were replaced by a gentle woman that could give her life for them if she had to.  
But this was different; she was different. Human, vulnerable, full of fears and worries and that amazed him, and it scared him too. It scared him to have thoughts about her just because she had put down her walls for once in the months they’d been there. Why did it have to be him? Steve bitterly thought, but he soon realized that there was no one around her, and that her team probably knew what she was going through so no use in talking to them.

“Captain Rogers, I’m sorry to be out during curfew but—” Dr. Hyoyeon Kim walked in, but immediately stopped in her steps. “Mia?” Dr. Benoist looked up at the pediatrician who looked back at her with pursed lips, trying to hide a great smile. “Captain Rogers, the medical team would like your permission to have a memorial for Omar, the child that died today…” she said softly, as if speaking loudly would make the treasured moments with the boy go away. “We thought it could be a good thing for his mom to say her goodbyes… properly.”

“Uhh, yes, Dr. Kim,” Steve awkwardly released Amelia from his embrace and nodded; it was only then that they realized they were still in each other’s arms. Dr. Benoist got up from the rock and walked towards her colleague. “That can be done, I’ll call the troops and we’ll do something nice for Omar and his mother.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Amelia nodded her head once and smiled weakly. “Thank you for breaking a few rules tonight,” the two women walked away, Steve walked on the opposite direction.

“Thank you for breaking a few rules tonight?” Hyoyeon asked when they were far enough. “What was that about? And why were you two holding each other?”

“ _Hajima_ …” Amelia rolled her eyes in exhaustion, “Captain Blondie was just being nice for a change, I was out during curfew and drinking, give me a break,” she tugged at her friend’s arm to walk faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hajima (하지마) means "don't do it" in Korean


	6. New Year's Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year’s Eve was a lonely time for everyone, Amelia included. Her boyfriend back home had decided to break the news of his engagement with his former girlfriend, whom he had been seeing again for a while now, but the doctor was smart enough to understand that she was obviously the third wheel in that relationship.

New Year’s Eve was a lonely time for everyone, Amelia included. Her boyfriend back home had decided to break the news of his engagement with his former girlfriend, whom he had been seeing again for a while now, but the doctor was smart enough to understand that she was obviously the third wheel in that relationship. 

She wasn’t really sure what the worst part was: to have been “the other woman”, the one that everyone hated, or that she was dumb enough to not see his lies. She had heard in her friends’ experiences that when a guy said that he’s having problems with his girlfriend it means that they are most probably getting back together without warning.

And so it happened, he broke the two news to her in the most painful way he could’ve thought of, very Taylor Swift-like, and now it was 11:30 in the night, 2018 was just around the corner and Amelia was sitting on one of the beds of the empty and dark medical wing; not even her colleagues were near. They were all gathered at the soldiers’ quarters, where they drank and shared some time with them.

It had been already 5 months since they arrived to Sudan, and three since Omar had died and even though his mother was given the chance to be returned to her home, she decided to stay and act as the translator between the medical team and the patients and things worked smoothly, but on New Year’s Eve, the room was unusually quiet as there had been no patients in a few days now.

Captain Rogers came in abruptly, turning on the lights and making a lot of noise before realizing that Amelia was there. He doubted if to come inside, but it was the second time he had seen her so affected by something so he felt a sort of connection towards her, as if her tragedies always dragged him to her, to hold her together when she was crumbling down.

“You’re not at the quarters, Dr. Benoist,” he said in a soft voice.

“Oh my, seems like you’re the most observant man in the goddamned planet, aren’t you, Captain Rogers?” She spat back, rolling her puffy eyes. A second later, she realized the most awful, and uncalled for, thing she hurried to take it back. “Sorry, Cap, it’s not your fault I’m all salty on a day like this.”

“What’s got you so salty on New Year’s Eve? A guy, a girl?” He let himself fall down on the hard mattress next to her.

“A guy,” she chuckled, “my boyfriend—or ex… Yeah, ex,” she chuckled again, more gloomily, “he just hang up, but he called to tell me he was breaking up with me because he was getting engaged—no, he already got engaged to his ex-girlfriend,” she looked at him and found a pair of compassionate eyes looking right back at her, “so that means that I was in between that relationship all along, and not the other way around,” she rose her eyebrows quickly and rolled his eyes. “What about you? Why aren’t you at the quarters, drinking, partying, or whatever you do when you don’t have a stick up your ass?”

“I was missing one person,” he said in a simple voice, “Dr. Kim said you could be here because you had a call, and voilà, here you were.”

“Cap, it’s not necessary that you stay here,” Amelia sighed after a long silence. It was 11:50 and the walk back to the quarters was a five minute walk and she was just too sad and miserable to be among other people. “Go on,” she patted his shoulder gently, “I really don’t want to ruin your night.”

“Nah,” he shook his head in a careless manner, “I don’t mind keeping you company, besides… I don’t think you want to be alone.”

“Thanks, you’re really a better person than it looks like,” she smiled weakly and turned her head away.

“Speaking of,” he replied, folding his arms over his chest, “what’s with the badass attitude? And the change that comes whenever there are patients? It makes it hard to tell when you’ll be nice.”

“I know what everyone thinks,” she shrugged, “I’m a bitch, I’m mean, and I’ll kick anyone who looks at me for way too long, but that’s only because I worked my ass off for my reputation. I’m good at what I do, and I want people to know that. I look like a brat, I know, even you said that and I’m sure that after our introduction you left, grinding your teeth and grumbling because, how does she dare talking to me like that, right? Well, I’ve been there so many times that you just learn how to defend yourself. I’m not mean, I just don’t like being stepped over, and I know I have my team, but I don’t want them to speak for me because it’s not their job.”

“I must admit that the first time we met I ended up calling you awful names, so I want to apologize for that. It wasn’t very professional, or adult from me and I can tell when I’m being an ass, and I was an asshole…” he nodded his head in idleness. “You’re not mean, not at all; you’re very professional and kind, and human and just… just plain nice,” he smiled. 

He placed his hands on the mattress and one accidentally fell on top of Amelia’s; it was everything so cliché that they looked at each other and from their lips a soft giggle bubbled out; Steve wrapped his hand around hers, caressing the soft skin beneath him with his thumb. From outside, loud cheering was heard and they knew it; 2017 was just a thing of the past.

“Happy New Year, Captain Rogers,” Amelia curled her lips into a nervous smile, “may this year bring you only good things,” she could feel her heart beating in her ears, and as much as she hated to admit it, Captain Steve Rogers was making her nervous for the very first time.

But Steve didn’t reply, at least not with words. He cupped her face with his free hand and pulled her closer to his lips. They were soft, sweet and warm, and they eagerly corresponded the kiss as if they had been expecting it for way too long. Her hands moved to the Captain’s neck, intertwining at its back and just letting herself fall into the trap.

They were so eager for each other’s touch, for each other’s love that they didn’t really care about going out to give the respective hugs; it was only them in that sterile and artificially lit room. She tugged at his bottom lip gently, eliciting a soft groan from him, different from the sounds that she had heard him make when he was injured and no one could take care of him. This was one of pure bliss, showing that he clearly enjoyed the moment.

Steve skilfully freed himself from her embrace, standing up and stepping in between her legs. She wrapped them around his waist and held onto his broad shoulders for more comfort, as Captain Rogers’s hands slowly roamed to her thighs and pulled her closer. Their heartbeats, though erratic, were in synch, and the every bitter word exchanged seemed to be left behind just like the old year that slipped through their fingers.

“Mia—oh my god!” Dr. Hadid yelled as she discovered the lovers. “I’m so sorry!” She screamed in desperation and covered her face as Amelia and Steve awkwardly untangled from each other’s arms. It didn’t take much longer for some of the doctors and the squadron to arrive, luckily, the pair was already apart from each other.

After the respective explanations, all the inhabitants of the compound decided to celebrate the arrival of the New Year together. It was a pretty celebration, where everybody indulged themselves with just a bit of alcohol and just the happiness of the festivity. Steve and Amelia only shared a few furtive looks and shy smiles from across the room.

“Do you like him, Benoist?” O’Shea asked; bluntly, without anesthesia, of course, as he always asked these kind of things. “Rogers, obviously. Word travels fast, and this compound is a small world.”

“You’re taking me off guard,” she almost spat her drink and looked at her colleague who looked at her with his inquiring eyebrows. “Look, I don’t know what happened back there, I’m still trying to figure it out but…”

“But?”

“I was weak, Rogers saw me there, talked to me and just… He was nice and I kinda fell for that. That doesn’t mean I like him or that I even wanna be with him…”


	7. Blood, sweat and tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia had to stop in her steps to have a moment to breath. She had forgotten how war looked like; she couldn’t place in her memory that it was so bloody, so messy and so loud. The soldier had to tug at her arm to keep her on a steady walk, but she was numbed, numbed from the fear.

“Just take care, alright?” Amelia sighed heavily. “In one piece,” she pointed a threating finger at him

“Yes ma’am,” Steve nodded and jokingly pressed his hand to his forehead, in that typical military manner of his. “Just be here when we get back, okay?”

“Where else could I go, Captain?” She rose her eyebrows and folded her arms over her chest. “We’ll be here waiting for you, but I mean it,” she nodded her head once, and looked at the blonde soldier with worried eyes, “take care.”

“Of course I will,” Rogers cupped her face and gently leaned forward to kiss her lips; she couldn’t resist it, or him, so she gave in almost guiltily. “Besides, Banner and Monae are going with us, what could possibly go wrong?”

“So many things, you’ve got no idea,” Amelia chuckled lightly and walked towards the two doctors that were going with Steve’s squadron to wish them luck. “Are you really sure that you don’t want more people?”

“Chill out sis’,” Janelle jokingly elbowed her, “we’re gonna be just fine.”

Amelia hoped with all her heart that it was true.

* * *

“Dr. Benoist, we’ve got a situation,” one of the army men said; his hands were covered in blood and he had surely wiped his forehead with those bloodied hands too. “It’s Captain Rogers…”

“What’s with him?” She asked, fearing the worse. But the man who had come to get her didn’t answer, he just lead the way outside the medical wing in painful silence; quite the contrast to the screaming people all around them. Before leaving, she grabbed an emergency kit on a bag, for patients who could not make it to the medical wing, but were still save-able.

Amelia had to stop in her steps to have a moment to breath. She had forgotten how war looked like; she couldn’t place in her memory that it was so bloody, so messy and so loud. The soldier had to tug at her arm to keep her on a steady walk, but she was numbed, numbed from the fear of seeing Steve injured, or worse. Her legs refused to function, just as her heart refused to believe that Rogers was hurt.

He was probably just playing hero and that’s why the soldier was all bloody in the first place. Or maybe there was another person hurt and the soldier and Rogers were trying to help, but failing miserably, but if they were, wouldn’t they have Monae and Banner with them? Unless they were… Oh god no.

They got to a beige Humvee with the doors wide open and a pair of black boots that hung from the edge of what it looked like a back seat. As she walked closer, she could recognize Captain Rogers lying flat on his back, using both the awfully uncomfortably-looking seats. He had a long laceration across his abdominal area, not deep enough for the insides to be on the outside, but still quite dangerous; the medical wing was not too far away, but Rogers was too hurt to move.

“Someone talk me through this,” she growled as the others moved the seats to make her fit a bit more comfortably in the horrendous vehicle. “Oh, calamity…” she sighed heavily as she explored Steve’s neck with her fingers. “Sargent Barnes, talk me through this.”

“We had a lead on ghost villages near here,” he started, “and that’s what we went to see. We took the doctors because these villages usually have kids and they aren’t exactly in the best conditions… besides, they are usually up for human trafficking. None of us could foresee that these dealers had weapons too.”

“And you all had to go and play hero time, right?” She scolded loudly. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep you all safe?” She pressed again her fingers to Steve’s neck and as she examined him quickly, she cursed. “Fucking shit! He’s in shock—get me something to keep him warm, now!” She opened his weary eyes and saw the pupils too dilated to be good and his skin was way paler than usual. He looked frail, as if he could break in any second.

She took all of her equipment and searched for something to clean the awful wound. Her hands were shaky and unsteady, but she couldn’t falter right now; everyone’s eyes were on her and she couldn’t fuck up. She wanted to speak to all of them, to make them talk, but the words melted in her lips and she couldn’t even focus on them again.

She could feel how the life escaped from Rogers’s body, how it slipped through her useless fingers into the hot air. “No,” she whispered, “don’t die on me,” she hurried to stitch the laceration; it was a slow process mostly because of her unsteady hands, but she knew that there was no way of saving that man. The blood lost was too much and there was no transfusion equipment, or any blood for that matter. He was doomed.

His eyes fluttered and tried to focus on her, and as he managed to look at her, his lips weakly spread in a smile. It was what the doctors called the last strength, and it was common in people who wanted to say goodbye. He looked for her hand and intertwined his fingers with her bloodied ones. He fixed his eyes on her features, lingering a memory that would soon fade away.

“I don’t have much time left,” he said, “so I’ll make it quick, I love you, I know I should’ve said it earlier, but… I had to get the stick off my ass first,” he chuckled but only spitted blood from his pale lips. “You were not supposed to see me like this.”

“Who else if it wasn’t me?” Amelia sniffled. “I told you to be careful.”

“You look pretty when you’re worried, I mean—you have always been pretty.”

“Don’t flirt with me right now!” She begged in a broken voice. “I can’t save you, Steve,” Amelia shook her head with sorrow, “I’m sorry.”

“I know you can’t, and it’s alright…” he took a deep, painful breath. “Sometimes, we just can’t save everyone,” he reminded her. “I wish we had more time, but I know it doesn’t work like that…but I cherished every moment we spent together.”

“I love you, Rogers,” she admitted. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me…” she leaned forward to press her lips against his, and she felt how the life escaped form him in one last breath.

His heart was not the only one that stopped in that moment.


End file.
